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Beyond Birds and Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids About Sex, Love, and Equality, by Bonnie J. Rough
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Review
"What a gift! Bonnie J. Rough offers a much-needed breath of fresh air in her wonderful new approach to discussing sex, love, and equality with our kids. Her smart, vigorously well-researched, and funny book is a great guide for families to read and discuss as their kids grow up."―Caroline Grant, Co-director, Sustainable Arts Foundation"With care and clarity, Bonnie Rough breathes new life into our national non-conversation about sex. Taking her cues from other countries' sensible approaches, she guides us gently towards a saner and healthier future."―Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland, among other books"Bonnie J. Rough has written a brilliant book about sex, gender, justice, and joy, and it's one that manages to be simultaneously sobering and buoyant. Her main ingredients for raising healthy kids--wonder, humor, and trust--constitute a kind of inspirational worldview, applicable to all aspects of parenting certainly, but even beyond that, to life itself. I'm so glad I read it."―Catherine Newman, author of Catastrophic Happiness and One Mixed-Up Night"Filled with sweet, poignant, and laugh-out-loud stories, Beyond Birds and Bees is a most accessible and most informative book that will help parents and caring adults become more adept at talking to young people about healthy sexuality. Bonnie J. Rough offers practical advice, gentle encouragement, and is vulnerable enough to let us learn from her own failures and successes. If you're looking for a book that provides a heartfelt and common sense approach to raising sexually healthy children, you've found it!"―Al Vernacchio, MSEd, author of For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health"With humor, humility, and gentleness, Bonnie J. Rough takes us on her journey of discovery and leaves us somewhere surprising and wonderful. Along the way, her practical tips add up to a transformative rethinking of what it means to teach our children about sex. This is a book that can help everybody: parents who know what they're doing, parents who worry they don't have a clue, and the rest of us, too, who never got the loving, tender teaching we deserved." ―Lisa Wade, bestselling author of American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus"Finally: a parenting book that abandons preachiness for a joyful and thoughtful inquiry into how we might guide our kids, and grow with them, as they become healthy, happy young adults. Bonnie J. Rough's experience in the Netherlands and her wide-ranging research offer an inspiring and practical alternative to help children (and their parents) become more comfortable in their own skins." ―Sonya Huber, author of Pain Woman Takes Your Keys"Beyond Birds and Bees is a must-read for every parent. With humor and grace, Bonnie J. Rough invites readers to learn alongside her as she embarks on a journey to understand how we can create truly gender equal societies and raise happy and healthy children who celebrate their own bodies. I wish I'd read this book when my daughters were little, but I'm grateful for it now, because it is never too late to talk openly with our kids about sex, sexuality and our bodies. This book is validating, eye-opening and truly life-changing."―Kate Hopper, Author of Use Your Words: A Writing Guide for Mothers and Ready for Air: A Journey Through Premature Motherhood"The conversation Rough starts about sexuality and gender equality in Beyond Birds & Bees is one we all need to be having-with our partners, our kids, our kids' teachers, our legislators-well: everybody. Read it. Start talking."―Jill Christman, author of Darkroom: A Family Exposure and Borrowed Babies: Apprenticing for Motherhood"A warm, sane call to action for parents facing the daunting task of raising kids with a healthy, positive sexuality."―Salon
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About the Author
Bonnie J. Rough is the author of The Girls, Alone, and Carrier: Untangling the Danger in My DNA. An award-winning essayist and memoirist with an MFA in Nonfiction Writing from the University of Iowa, her essays have appeared in numerous publications. She lives with her husband and two daughters in Seattle, and makes frequent trips back to their former home in the Netherlands.
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Product details
Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Seal Press (August 21, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 158005739X
ISBN-13: 978-1580057394
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 1 x 8.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
5.0 out of 5 stars
23 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#116,592 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
My wife and I bought this and read it and it has already changed how we are parneting our 6 children. This book compares the way we do things in America with an alternative Dutch method comparing and contrasting the pros, cons, and results. My wife and I have been pretty unsatisfied with the beliefs and methods we've been using but at a complete lack of alternatives. This book gave VERY practical examples of how to deal with kids who want to play doctor and also the belief system that needs to change if we want to progress. Really thankful this was written and have begun to implement in our home already.
This book has been incredibly helpful to me, both in the way that I speak to my kids about bodies, sex and relationships, and in the way I reflect on my own upbringing. Rough's book is practical, accessible, witty, enlightening and FUN. (Funny too!) I wish this were required reading for all Americans. If we want to see healthier attitudes about bodies and relationships, we need to start adopting the ideas in this beautiful book. It's a game-changer!
Beyond Birds and Bees is both excellently researched and beautifully written. As an educator and as a parent of three school-age daughters, I found this book to contain not only the data, but also the vocabulary to help adults guide children and adolescents to health and well-being in their own bodies as well as in their relationships.
Do you have a newborn? Are you thinking about the "sex talk"? Probably not. If not, you should start and here's the best way to get started. READ THIS BOOK! Even if you disagree with some of her approach, keep reading and examine your own misconceptions, beliefs, attitudes. It's extremely easy to read. It's relatable to almost all of us (as Americans) and it will get you thinking and preparing for what should be the inevitable "talk". The biggest revelation from the book will be that "the talk" needs to start as soon as your child starts talking.
The headline doesn't lie- this is a MUST read for all parents and anyone who is interested in changing the way that Americans view sexuality! As someone who has worked in the field of sexuality education for nearly 15 years and is currently developing a study abroad course to the Netherlands on just this topic, Bonnie Rough hit it out of the park. She tackles the subjects with great storytelling, humor, and an incredibly relatable voice that keeps you turning the pages. Her research is impeccable and she presents a great "high level" view of so many of the challenges with sexuality education here in the United States. I will be getting this book for every single one of my friends, parents or not. It will also be my new go-to baby shower gift. You can never start thinking about this too early. :) Don't wait - order this book TODAY!
Just finished reading this, and I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone raising kids, babies through teens. It may become my new baby shower "go to" gift! Very good. Focus on health, open communication, and great research. For the record, I am a mom of two teens and teach human sexuality to (often woefully uneducated) college students.
“Just a spoon full of sugar†comes to mind after reading this book. The sugar being Rough’s anecdotes from her own family life, and the medicine being the tons of research she incorporates and the seemingly bleak state of current American sex-ed. This book is inspiring and challenging and practical and a must-read for anyone who deals with children and longs for a more equitable society.
Bonnie provides a well researched, eye-opening and sensible perspective on sex, gender and equality that every parent should consider in raising their children. Her matter-of-fact style, peppered with real-life stories and examples from her own parenting adventures make for an entertaining yet extremely educational read. Thank you for tackling this important subject. I am giving copies of this book to each of my eight siblings!
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